caught short in the woods

You wont believe what happened to me the other day

caught short in the woods, busting for a dump

had a minging kebab the night before too

So I figured I'd curl one down behind the bush

So I grab onto this tree to support myself and start trying to lay the chocolate Mr Whippy

It's a real beast and my legs start to tremble. I have to pound them to get a decent blood circulation going

It works!!! After a mighty battle I land 3 pound brown toilet trout

Then I notice that a turd spotter has been spying on me, he's obviously been taking notes. Maybe photos too!! Or maybe he's just taking a slash

I say "Oi, what's your game?" And I nonchalantly try and waft the aroma away

"That's not mine" I said. "It was here when I arrived. Honest"

I think he believed me. Yay!!